Block Party -

This past weekend I went to a Block Party that a friend was having.  Everyone went down to the community pool and swam with the children...... everyone that is, except me..  
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I sat out, not even wearing a swimsuit there, because I was too ashamed.  So I sat in a chair, in the shade, in my jeans and t-shirt watching all the others swim.  My husband encouraged me to go back home and grab my suit and swim with everyone, but I refused, insisting that NO ONE wanted to see me in a swimsuit.  
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I didn't want to be the one that everyone whispered about (not that they actually would have), but I just knew that if I went swimming, or had my swimsuit on, they would laugh, and point, and whisper...... So instead, I was the one everyone was looking at pointing to and probably whispering about  because  I am sure I seemed anti-social.
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And I was struck once again this weekend of how much I want to lose weight.  How much my weight has been hindering my life. How MUCH  I am missing out on because of MYSELF.   MY weight, MY insecurities, MY low self-esteem, MY issues.  
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I need to change........ I'm Ready for a change.