I Came SO Close To Cheating

Our oldest two kids are at their Dad's house

for the first part of the Summer.

And our youngest two have been at their

Grandmothers house for the past week.

So we have been Kid Free for the 

first time in 12 years!!

They come back next weekend.

Since this was our last Kid Free weekend

in who knows HOW long, I wanted to do something

DIFFERENT. 

Something we would NEVER normally do. 

Something FUN and EXCITING!

 I had told my husband I wanted to do something

CRAZY.  

Like get drunk

and smoke cigarettes. 

But being on a diet...

Alcohol was out of the question.

And I don't smoke. 

So I suggested we go to a Water Park

or Six Flags and just enjoy ourselves.

Typically it's all about the kids when 

I go to places like that, and I'm always 

tense, keeping up with them, afraid they 

will get hurt. I thought it would be nice

to go for a change without any worries.

I haven't been able to do that in 16 years. 

My husband wasn't keen on the idea, though.

So he decided early Saturday morning on a Road Trip. 

He woke me up EARLY that morning

and told me to get dressed, we were leaving soon.

(I am NOT a morning person)

But with a little persuasion he coaxed me out of bed.

I threw on some clothes, and grabbed some of

my Medifast pretzels and a box of Bars

and we were on the road within 20 minutes.

With no real destination in mind, we set out.

And it felt GREAT!

We headed out and wound up in Paris, TX

where we saw the "Eiffel Tower" and 

visited the Evergreen Cemetery and saw 

the statue of Jesus in Cowboy Boots.

Then we hit up the Choctaw Casino in Oklahoma.

We had a blast.

It was nice to just get away

and spend that quality time with each other.

I decided to do a 4&2 Plan for the day.

4 Medifast Meals and 2 Lean and Green Meals, 

because I really didn't have much portable MF food left. 

But I had pre-determined I would cut myself 

a little bit of slack.

I told my husband that for that day

I would make the best choices possible

wherever we ate, but if it wasn't 100%

On Plan, that was O.K.

As long as I didn't pig out on ice cream 

french fries, and candy, it would be alright.

Our first stop was at a little hole in the wall

place there in Paris, TX.  

I ordered the Grilled Chicken Salad.

It didn't taste great, but it WAS On Plan.

SUCCESS!! 

On our way back home, my husband said

he was hungry again and wanted Whataburger.

I LOVE WHATABURGER!!!

I would be lying if I said I was not 

excited about the prospect of getting to

sink my teeth into a burger. 

A part of me felt really guilty,

another part of me was drooling.

As I gazed up at the Menu

for a moment my heart sank.

Wouldn't you know it....

they had a Grilled Chicken Salad

on the menu. 

DAMN!! 

For a few moments I stared at the 

menu, arguing with myself over 

which one to choose.

I haven't cheated, or eaten ANYTHING

off plan in 5 MONTHS!!!

One hamburger wouldn't hurt.

My husband didn't try to influence my 

decision at all.

He knew I wanted the burger. 

And if he had tried to give me input, 

I honestly don't know if he would have 

encouraged me to stay on plan, or 

let me know it was O.K. to order the burger.

But the fact is....... I'm a grown ass woman,

and what I choose to eat is my decision. 

And that goes for anyone that is dieting.

We have to make healthy choices for ourselves.

While we may lose weight with someone standing 

over us, telling us not to eat something, we won't keep it off.

The decisions and the change have to come from within.

Not that the Burger would have destroyed my diet. 

And it wouldn't have. Not really.

I may not have had as good a weigh in,

but eating a hamburger would not have been

the end of the world, or my diet. 

But I chose the Grilled Chicken Salad.

As I ate it.... I was very disappointed at first.

I had wanted that Burger so bad. 

I thought to myself how much it SUCKED

being responsible and rational. 

Especially on a day like that.

Where spontaneity was a theme.

But those feelings passed quickly.

And at the end of the day, I went to bed

not guilt ridden and worried about my weigh in.

I wasn't upset that I didn't get to eat a burger,

 I was PROUD that I stayed On Plan. 

But our time out made me realize how MUCH

I had used food as entertainment. 

When we were originally trying to decide what

to do for the weekend, we had trouble thinking

of anything that didn't involve food.

Whether it was the Movie Grill, or 

going out for drinks, eating at a nice Restaurant, 

getting a frappuccino at Starbucks or a Blizzard from Dairy Queen...

All the ideas that we typically would have done in 

the past involved Food.

And it was brought home to me once again,

that more than just my outer appearance is changing 

during this process.  My whole lifestyle is changing as well.

This Journey is not only about changing my body shape.

It's about teaching me how to live a healthy life.

Those temptations and desires will still always be there.

Even after nearly half a year on this plan,
they didn't just go away.
I don't have them all the time now.
In fact, I rarely ever do.
But I learned they will still rear their ugly
heads up every now and then.

It is up to me to make the right choices.