Friday, July 30, 2010

I LOATHE Public Pools

My husband wants to take the kids to the local public pool tomorrow.  He has taken them before and they had a blast.  It is great for the younger ones, because it has a Dragon Bridge they have to climb across, and it is has diving boards for the oldest kids.

He is wanting to take our 4 plus friends. It would be 8 kids in all.  With that many kids, he is going to need help.  Last time he took the kids I stayed home and worked on Cheer stuff. But I don't see myself getting out of this one.

I would really love to go.  It looked like a lot of fun.  But I LOATHE public pools.  I do not like getting out in my Bathing Suit in public places.  I have just started going into the lake.  Before I was always the idiotic woman at the lake, sitting in the lawn chair, in JEANS (because I do not wear shorts in public either) sweating rivers, watching everyone else have fun.

I made myself go into the water at the lake this year, because I reminded myself that it was for the kids.  They enjoy having me participate, and I think they feel bad when I sit out and just watch.  And let's face it..... the Lake area where we go, there is not a whole lot of bathing beauties strutting around with their perfect bodies in their skimpy bikinis.  Nearly everyone there has some weight/body issues happening... I just happen to be a little worse.

I found that once I focus on the kids, and push all thoughts of my looks, insecurities, etc. out of my mind, I have fun there!  Now if I could just do this at the public pool.  I have gone to a public pool before.  We went to Schlitterbahn 2 years ago, and I wore a bathing suit top and shorts over my bottoms.  I never quite got over my insecurities though.  I didn't get on a single ride.  I stayed with Emily in the kiddie pool the entire time, ensuring everyone that I was fine, and for them to go have fun.

Maybe if I had a better bathing suit it would help.  I need to get a new one, but to find a plus size bathing suit in my size that covers all the areas that I need it to, but still look decent is expensive.  And I just haven't had the money lately to go get another suit.  The bathing suit I have now is the boy type shorts on the bottom and then a halter type top.  But the top keeps riding up, showing my stomach, and I have to wear shorts to feel somewhat comfortable.

If we wind up going tomorrow, I will really really try to focus on the kids.  To keep telling myself "screw what others think" I'm not here to impress anyone.  I'm here for my kids, and that is all that matters....

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