Monday, April 18, 2011

17 Years of Shame Come To An End.

I am only 2 pounds away from 
reaching my 50lbs LOST goal!

The time has flown by so fast!
I began my weight loss journey
on January 3rd. 
A New Year....
A New Me.

I can't believe how far I have come
in such a short time. 
And I'm not referring
to just pounds.

I still have a long ways to go....
I need to lose another 105 pounds 
before I reach my goal....


But as I reflect on
my journey so far
I am so proud of how far 
I have come.

And that is saying a lot.

For 17 years I lived in shame.
Shame of what I had done 
to my body. 

I withdrew from life
and my whole world revolved
within my closed doors.
I didn't get out and get
involved in anything because
I was too ashamed.

I always thought it was my 
weight holding me back.
But it wasn't. 
It was me.

I still can't believe I 
let my self get as big as I did.
But I've learned to forgive myself.
I've gotten involved in PTO and 
my children's sports, 
volunteering where I can
and I will not let 
ANYTHING 
hold me back any longer.

Not even myself.  

Even though I am nowhere
near reaching my goal.
And even though I am still
fat and obese....
I push myself to get out
there and DO SOMETHING.
To LIVE MY LIFE, 
even when fear and doubt
begin to creep back in, 
trying to sabotage my 
success.

I don't let it.
Not anymore.

I look back at my before
pictures, and even my 
current ones, not with 
shame anymore, but 
as a testament to how far
I have come. 
And how far I still need to go.


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