I May Be Slow, But I'm Doing It

I don't work out NEARLY enough.  It is a major downfall I have.  I always have good intentions, but the follow through doesn't always happen.  I know if I start working out more, the scale will move more, and right now.... I REALLY want that.  I miss having those 3-5 pound losses (or more) every week like I did in the beginning.  Now, I'm lucky if I get a 1 pound loss lately.  I had one good 4 pound loss a couple weeks ago, but other than that.... it's been very slow going.  I finally forced myself to go for a walk/run yesterday.  I found this app a while back called Map My Walk that uses GPS to track your mileage and time.  Looking through my (very short) work out history on the app, I realized that even though these workouts are spaced way far out, each time I go for a walk/run I get a little faster.  It's not much... but seeing that made me SO HAPPY!! And Motivated to do more!  And even better..... the scale was DOWN 1.6 pounds this morning! 

I used to HATE running.  I couldn't have run if my life depended on it.  If I were in a Zombie apocalypse, I might as well have just laid down and waited to be eaten.  When I first started trying to "run" it was more of just an awkward walk thingy where I lifted my knees a little higher and swung my arms a little more.  But now, I can actually jog.  I'm slower than a turtle walking through molasses and I don't "run" as far as I would like, but.... hey, I'm doing it.  And looking at the results above, I'm getting better.  If I keep it up, eventually, I might just be able to beat that turtle. 

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 34

WooHoo!! Finally a Good Loss!!

Total for the week: -4.4 pounds

Total Lost So Far: 73 Pounds

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 33

Weigh In Resutls - + .4 pounds

Total Loss so far: 68.6 pounds

 

This was not a good week for me,

BUT I was on my period for weigh in

and my feet and ankles have been swelling

a lot all week.  Hoping that is why such poor results.

Knowing When To Stop

One of the hardest things for me to learn since having my Gastric Bypass surgery has been WHEN TO STOP eating, ESPECIALLY if what I'm eating is very good. I think this issue is one of the leading causes to me being SO overweight.
I don't eat anywhere near the amount I used to eat, but I still catch myself saying "one more bite" especially if it's really yummy, usually regretting that decision immediately. Sometimes I'll eat until I'm full, and stop like a good girl, but as I sit at the table and everyone else is still eating I continue to "pick" at my food until everyone else is done, eating more than I originally intended.
This is such a dangerous habit that needs to be broken. By pushing the limit I know I can, and eventually will, stretch out my stomach, and I do NOT want that to happen. I must learn to slow waaay down and really pay attention and STOP at that "satisfied" moment EVERY time. I don't have to eat until I'm "full". I did NOT get this surgery and go through all that I've been through to wind up remaining over weight.
Change doesn't occur over night. I'm miles away from the person I used to be but a lifetime of bad habits doesn't just go away. But I'm aware of them. And I'm actively working on changing them.   When I think about how much my attitude towards food has changed JUST in the past 7 months, I'm amazed.  I'm not perfect and never will be.  I am so much better than I was, and I will become much better than I am now.

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 29

TOM came to visit this month, so I wasn't expecting much of a loss..... and didn't get one.

Loss for the week: .2 lbs

Total loss so far: 65.8 lbs

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 27 and Week 28

Week 27

Weigh in Results: +.8lbs

Total Loss So Far:  63.8

 

Week 28

Weigh in results: -1.8

Total Loss So Far:  65.6

MORNING NAKED WEIGH IN: WEEK 25

 

A little bit better loss this week.  Down 2.2 pounds.

Total loss so far: 63 Pounds

Morning Naked Weigh In: Week 23

Not a big loss this week, but still a loss:  -1.8 lbs.  I still haven't made it back into the gym, and until I do, I'm just not going to see any big numbers.  I was doing great for a while, but it seems once I stopped, it has been so hard to find that drive again.   So much has been going on lately... life is very hectic right now, but my gym is open 24/7 so there really is no excuse.  I know what needs to be done.  I just need to do it.

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 17

What a STRESSFUL Week!!  Between an Emergency trip to the hospital with my husband,  Him off work all week, Lay Off's at my work, and a meeting to discuss this "critical period" at work,  I have been one stressed out Momma!  The scale shows it too....... I GAINED 1.4lbs.   Gotta get busy and hit the gym this week to work it off!  Weigh In results: 248.6 pounds. 

NON SCALE VICTORY!!

Last night when I was getting dressed to go to the gym, I grabbed one of my old XL T-Shirts to try it on, just to see how close I am to being able to wear it again. Guess What!?  IT FIT!!!!
YES!!!  I was so excited!  Later, on the treadmill, when I started feeling self conscious in front of all the people there working out looking all cute in their workout gear, I reminded myself that I was wearing an XL T-Shirt!! And that is coming from a 3X!!  I may not look all cute in my work out clothes now, or even FIT into the cute workout clothes yet, but I'M ON MY WAY!!

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 14

 

This was not a great weight loss week. My weight this morning was 252.0 lbs.  I GAINED .4lbs.  I didn't work out at all this week.  I haven't been feeling well, and never made it to the gym.  I'm going to have to do better.  Earlier this week each morning the scale was up a little until I had gained 3 pounds for the week, but beginning Thursday the scale started going back down, ending the week at only a .4 lb gain. While I'm disappointed to have not had a loss this week, I'm relieved that it wasn't a 3 pound gain or more like it was showing earlier this week.  Going forward, I can NOT let myself derail my work out efforts.  It's too easy to find a reason or excuse not to go.  I need to be going to the gym regardless of how I feel unless I'm running fever or puking.

Confession Time Again...... With Pictures.

Yesterday, while my husband and I were out we passed by a Wig store.  He swung into the parking lot and asked if I wanted to go in and just look around.  I hesitated, but I've been curious so we went in, and ultimately wound up purchasing a wig.  WHAT??!!  I will probably pick it up next Saturday.   First of all..... I want to make this clear that I have been experiencing Hair Loss for 11 years now. I do not want to scare anyone reading this that is thinking of having Gastric Bypass surgery into thinking the same will happen to them.  Yes, it is common to experience some hair loss, but not to the extent where one would need a wig.  Because my hair was already SO THIN on top, it has pushed me to that point where I think I need one.

I began this blog with the commitment to blog openly and honestly. It is hard to do sometimes, but in honor of that commitment,  I am posting pictures of my hair below so you can get an idea of what I'm talking about.  I used to wear my hair over to the side and it hid my thinning hair fairly well unless you stood over me in a bright light.  But after the past two weeks of losing my hair every time I shower, I have been forced to pull my bangs straight back to try to hide my scalp. But even, that is getting hard. 

Here I am last weekend with my hair "styled" in the only way I have found to cover my scalp.  As you can see, my hair is really, really thin on top, and no matter how I arrange my hair, I have places where my scalp shows through, in the front, and in the back unless my hair is laying just right.

Please excuse these next two pictures.  I wore my hair curly (it's naturally curly) yesterday to try and maybe add volume and help cover my scalp.  When I got up this morning and decided to blog about it, I went ahead and snapped two pictures prior to taking a shower. And my hair is WILD (what little you can actually see of hair in this next set).   But this is what I am dealing with, and why I have decided to wear a wig.... if I can get up enough courage to actually wear it. 

This is the top of my head with my hair parted over to the side like I USED to be able to wear it. 

And here is the top of my head with my hair parted straight down the middle, which I never do, but you can see the extent of my hair loss. 

I know.  

This is extremely embarrassing.  

Again... I want to put reiterate, this is NOT the normal.

I was headed to this point, BEFORE the surgery. 

So yesterday, I tried two different wigs. I wanted to try to stay within my current length.  I LOVED the color and cut of the first wig I tried on (no pictures were allowed in the store), and came VERY close to purchasing that one.  It was kind of long on the sides and got a little bit shorter in the back, like that swing bob, or inverted wedge cut that is popular. Super Cute.  It was a dark brown which is my natural hair color.  But I was a little bothered by the seam down the wig.  To me it looked like the hair had been singed.  The lady that was helping me said it was a hand tied wig, very durable, and it is just the way they come.  She showed me how to adjust the part, zigzagging small pieces of hair to hide it, and it did look better.  I then tried on some Lace Front wigs, which gives you a more normal hair line and seam, but she said in all honesty they do not last long and are also more expensive.  She said for a first wig, she did not recommend them.  Then she said she wanted to try one more on me before we purchased the first one.  The next wig she put on me had three different colors and blondish highlights. It looked a little more natural down the seam, partly because it looked like my "roots" were about to come through.  My husband (who by the way is EXTREMELY supportive and I could not live without) and the shop lady LOVED the second wig on me.  She said it was very  flattering on me. The cut is similar to the way I used to have my hair styled about a year ago.  I wasn't too sure about the blonde highlights though, and we debated for literally over an hour on different color options.  I wanted a dark brown with a lighter brown highlights, so she had me try on other wigs just for a color reference.  They were all too brassy, or reddish for my liking. She asked if I wanted to order it in a solid color, but the color on the wig is what MAKES that cut and style so cute.  I went back and forth between the two wigs for a long time, trying on both again and again. I ultimately went with their suggestion of the second wig, in the original color because when it comes to myself I am HORRIBLE about being objective.  Frankly..... I don't like anything right away, it always takes me a while.  

So after next weekend, now that I will have a wig, the next step is finding the courage to wear it.  The shop lady said to just be honest with coworkers and friends and tell them It's a wig, because eventually I'll want to get a new one with a different style and length.  My husband has suggested wearing it on the weekends, and getting used to it for a while before trying to wear it at work.  When I first start wearing it, regardless of where I'm at, I will be uncomfortable and it will feel weird.  He said once I get used to the idea of wearing it and feeling more comfortable about it, I will be more 

confident wearing it to work and around friends.  Hmmm..... we'll see.  I guess wearing a wig is better though, than looking bald.

Confession Time... Water

I have to admit....  I think my BIGGEST challenge

is getting enough water in.  This has always been an issue with me, not just since surgery.  First of all..... I don't LIKE

water.  In order to drink it, it has to be ICE COLD. Even then

I have to force it down.  Bleh.  I used to love the Crystal Light packets of Lemonade added, but since the surgery, I haven't really cared for them.  Any calorie free, non carbonated beverage will count towards my water intake, so I've been drinking the Diet Lipton Citrus Green Teas.  In the weeks following my surgery, it was the ONLY drink I found that didn't make me nauseous.  I can now drink other things, 

such as water without feeling nausea, but I still haven't found anything that I love to drink. But taste isn't really the problem here.  I just get busy and forget  to drink.  One 16oz bottle of tea will last me all day.  On a good day, I'll get in two 

of them.  THAT'S HORRIBLE! I should be getting in at least 64oz of water daily. Water is very important to not only my weight loss, but my health as well.  It is such a SIMPLE concept too.  Carry water (or other noncaloric beverage) with you all day long, and sip constantly.  Yet, here I am 3 months out still struggling with it.  I'd set an alarm on my phone as the Dr. suggested, but I can't have my alarm going off at work.  I've even asked a co-worker to remind me throughout the day to drink.  But ulimately, it is my responsibility, and I just have to find a way to get it in. 

Where The &^%$ Is My Hair Going!?

I knew this was coming. 

I knew to expect some hair loss

after having this surgery starting at

around Month 3.  

Well, here I am 3 months out, 

and Yep. I'm losing my hair.

Knowing it was coming did

not make it any easier when it arrived.

For most people, it is just a little thinning out,

and will soon grow back out, thinning hair but a memory.

But I've been experiencing thinning hair for the

past 11 years.  It started after my youngest (4th child)

was born.  It was a very slow gradual process,

and it seemed to have stopped.  My hair was still

really thin on top, but it seemed to be staying.

So for me to be experiencing hair loss again,

I have to admit... I'm scared.

Morning Naked Weigh In: Week 13th

Kind of a low number this week, BUT still a loss, so I'm happy.
251.6
Loss for the week: 2.8 lbs

Total Loss so far: 48.4 lbs!

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 11

This week I ended with a LOSS!

Woo hoo!!!

It was up slightly from yesterday morning

but I still ended with a loss.

Weigh in results this morning:

258.0

That's a 3.4lb loss for the week.

Total loss so far:  

42 pounds! 

YES!!!

I Finally Made It To The Gym!!

I finally made it to the gym today

and worked out.

 I only lasted about 25 minutes, but I 

worked up a pretty good sweat. 

15 minutes on the Treadmill, then

10 minutes on the bike.  While on the 

bike I used a feature called Chest Press

where every few minutes, it has you 

you raise your feet onto these posts

and then use the arm handles to pull your 

arms back and forth while it applies pressure 

making it hard to pull.

 

I need to work up to to the point where I am

working out at least an hour, and I need to be

sure and utilize the weights they have there.

I can only hit the gym about 3 times a week,

so I think on those days I will start using the 

weights they have there, and on the days

I am not able to go to the gym, I will go

to the school track walk/run. 

Looking forward to getting FIT! 

5 Non Scale Victories So Far...

I'm finding it's the little things that occur

throughout a day that most would not think 

twice about, that really allow me to "see" that 

I have lost weight.

I don't see it in the mirror yet.

I know some changes have occurred, but

I get overwhelmed with the enormity of what 

I still have to lose, because in the mirror....

I'm still VERY OBESE. 

Here is a small list of the "Little Things" that 

have been an A-HA moment for me. 

5 Small Non Scale Victories....

1.  Yesterday at work I Had 3 people tell me 

it was time for new jeans. They said the 

ones I was wearing looked like they were about

to fall off me. 

2.  I don't have to put my car seat as far back 

in my car to keep my stomach from touching

the steering wheel anymore. 

3.  I was able to bend down and tie my own shoes 

the other day.  In public.  Without performing great feats 

of acrobatics.

4.  It is much easier to get my socks and shoes on.

5.  When I'm standing and look down,  It doesn't look 

like I have two rows of breasts anymore.

Week 8 Weigh In Results

I didn't think I was going to lose anything

this week.  In fact, I was afraid I was 

going to end with a GAIN.

TOM (Time Of Month) came to visit this week,

and brought a long a couple of pounds. 

Yesterday I was looking at a .4 increase,

BUT........

I'm happy to say that this morning's 

Weigh In showed a 2.6 pound

LOSS!!!

WOOHOO!!!  

Total Loss this month: 8.8 lbs

Total Loss so far:  36.6 lbs

I was hoping to lose about 10 pounds month.

Maybe when I start working out this January

I will see better results. 

But a loss is a loss, and even if it is slower than

some..... I'll TAKE IT!!

My New Favorite Protein Supplement

I found a new favorite Protein Supplement!

 I struggled in the beginning after surgery to

find a Protein shake that I liked.  The protein

shake that I was drinking BEFORE surgery,

suddenly tasted AWFUL to me AFTER surgery.

I discovered the only kind of protein shake I could

tolerate was the Premier Protein shakes found

at Sam's Club (and I believe Walmart). 

 

Two weeks ago while I was at Sams

to get the Premier Protein shakes my

husband saw these.....

(Please excuse the picture, my camera

on my phone is broke and half of every

picture comes out blurry....)

The bars are 200 calories.

They have a pretty good flavor, 

and each bar has less than 2g of sugar,

and 20grams of protein!

I took some of them to work and have one at my 

desk for breakfast each morning in between calls,

and the rest I threw in the Freezer to keep at home.  

Being frozen, it forces me to take small bites and

eat it slowly.  YUM!! 

Although they only have 20grams of protein

compared to the 30 grams of protein in the

Premier Shakes, I never really LIKED the 

shakes.  So for me.... this is a happy alternative.