I’ve been Fat for 20 years.
20 YEARS.
That’s HALF my life!! I just turned 39 in October.
Senior year, 1993, I weighed a whopping 109 pounds.
I graduated in May and married my high school boyfriend that July.
As soon as we got married I started putting on weight.
6 months after we married, I found out I was pregnant.
I was 19.
I BALLOONED during my pregnancy,
gaining a LOT of weight.
I thought it was temporary and in no time
I would be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
But…14 months after my son was born,
I was still at 170lbs , and discovered I was pregnant again.
With that pregnancy I only gained 30 pounds,
putting me at 200 pounds exact when I was
admitted for labor and delivery.
I lost 15 of those pounds after my daughter was born.
A year later, after just four years of marriage,
my husband left me,
one month after my daughter turned ONE and
9 days shy of my son’s 3rd birthday.
After my divorce, I lost around 30 pounds,
putting me at 155. I fluctuated there for a while.
A little over a year later I met and then married
my current husband, and the love of my life.
While pregnant with my Third child, another son,
I once again BALLOONED,
putting on a lot of weight.
After he was born, I stayed right around 230lbs,
During my fourth and FINAL pregnancy, (another girl),
I gained little and ended the pregnancy weighing
exactly the same as I did before carrying her,
but WEARING a size larger.
From 2002 to 2007 I had many,
many failed diet attempts.
At one time, on the Atkins Diet
I got down to 200 pounds even.
I weighed on that Friday,
and then over the weekend I got off track
on the diet, and GAINED.
A couple of weeks later,
I once again got down to 200 but then I stalled,
and never seemed to have the same success as before.
With the scale not moving,
It was harder to stay strict and on plan.
I then very rapidly gained back all the weight
I had lost plus some.
I joined a gym and started working out
but the weight just did not want to budge.
I worked out every day for a while,
but eventually had to quit the gym due to a hernia surgery I had.
In 2007 I decided to have the Lap Band procedure
done after talking to some women at work that had gotten it.
I had complications with my port,
and had to go in for a second surgery.
I never lost much weight with the lap band,
and I had trouble eating almost everything.
No matter how small of bites I took, the food got stuck.
Sometimes after eating I threw up right away, and other times,
it took a while as my saliva would build up in my pouch
and start coming up.
I never lost much weight with the band,
and stayed constantly hungry.
Eventually, I began to gain again.
I finally just had all the fluid taken out.
During those years, at one point
I remember thinking that I was
fat, would always be fat, and that is just who I am.
Over the years my weight just kept getting higher and higher.
In 2011 I finally found a diet that worked for me.
I started Medifast and in 8 months, I lost 85 pounds.
I felt great. FINALLY, I had found something that worked for me!
But the diet is very expensive, and due to financial reasons
I could not afford to stay on the plan.
From August 2011 to October 2012 I slowly gained back
50 of the 85lbs lost. Then in October 2012, I went back to
work after being a stay at home mom for MANY years.
I thought going back to work would be better, having
more control over what and when I ate.
After all, I could only eat what I brought with me.
Every day for lunch I ate a sandwich, no chips.
Sometimes I brought fruit
(grapes, cantaloupe, honey dew melon, etc.)
or carrot sticks to snack on.
I did good.
But….. with working, and my daughters cheer, it was always
LATE before I would be able to eat dinner.
I was usually starving by the time I got home,
and everyone else has already eaten.
So I ate things that were quick and easy.
I didn't eat large amounts,
but my evening choices weren’t always the healthiest.
The weight started piling on.
I never thought in a million years
I would ever let myself get to the point I reached.
I felt defeated.
THEN….
