Morning Naked Weigh In: Week 32

Weekly Loss: .8lbs

Total Loss So Far:  69.4lbs

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 29

TOM came to visit this month, so I wasn't expecting much of a loss..... and didn't get one.

Loss for the week: .2 lbs

Total loss so far: 65.8 lbs

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 27 and Week 28

Week 27

Weigh in Results: +.8lbs

Total Loss So Far:  63.8

 

Week 28

Weigh in results: -1.8

Total Loss So Far:  65.6

Who Do I WANT To Be?

 Maybe it's part of getting older... or maybe it's a result of the surgery and the changes it has brought... but I find myself searching for who I AM.  Because honestly..... sometimes, I just don't know.  

 How much of my life has been wasted on "One Day...", "When I Lose Weight", "If I were skinny",  "If only".....   It feels like I've gone through life holding  down the "Pause" button, waiting for this or that to happen first.  But.... What would my life be like if there was NOTHING holding me back?   Not my weight, my self esteem, my insecurities... What if I didn't CARE what people thought of me?  What if I didn't have limitations on what I could  do.  What if I could go back to Graduation Day at high school, with my new sense of "Freedom", a little wiser than I was back then, carrying all the hope and belief that I did on that day of my future.  What would I choose to do? 

As I shed my excess pounds, I am also working on shedding all the other things that I have held on to that have kept me down. Because, let's face it, although my weight has made things more difficult for me... My weight isn't REALLY what has held me back all these years, but my own insecurities about it.  At social events I felt awkward, so I kept to myself.  I realize now that it wasn't THEM not talking to ME,  By staying off by myself, my entire body language was screaming BACK OFF.   When we went to the Lake, public pools, water parks, etc.  I could have gotten a bathing suit on and joined in. (Of course, I weighed too much for some of the water slides, but I could have joined in the Wave Pool and the Lazy River), but I was so embarrassed of my body, I refused to be seen in Public in a bathing suit.  So I wore Capri pants and a T Shirt over my swimsuit and stood around waiting at the end of each ride, sometimes for over an hour, for the my husband and kids to come out.  And it isn't my weight that has kept me from pursuing my dreams.... it's my fear of what others would think of them.   And now.... I've suppressed those dreams for SO LONG, I don't even know what they ARE anymore.   

Fitspiration

Daily Weighing - Pros and Cons

I'm usually a Daily Weigh-er.  

First thing in the morning, before getting into the shower, I jump on the scale and record my weight for the day.  I like weighing first thing in the morning, before I've had anything to eat or drink, butt-naked, because it takes a way a lot of the factors that can effect your weight, such as clothes and water retention. For me, Daily Weighing keeps me on track, I find I do better this way.  But I've heard of others that hide their scale during the week because they find themselves obsessing over the numbers.

Here is  a short list of PRO'S that I have found in DAILY WEIGHING.

1.  It gives me focus during the week, and is a daily reminder to eat right and exercise.  When I weighed only once a week, I found myself thinking "It's OK, I have the rest of the week to work it off". 

2.  I can see on any given day how the foods I ate and exercise I did (or did not do) that day effected me, such as water retention, etc. 

3.  When the scale is down, I am even MORE motivated that day to eat right and exercise.

4.  By keeping track all week, I have a pretty good idea of what my official weigh in will be on Sunday, so do not get that crushing feeling when it is not a good loss.  If it's been a bad week, I already know.

 And now for a short list of CON'S in DAILY WEIGHING

1.  It can lead to frustration at times because your weight naturally fluctuates throughout the week. 

2.  I've read other's say that they find themselves obsessing over the numbers on the scale, and would rather focus on inches lost. 

3.  Muscle weighs more than fat, so if working out a lot, the scale may be going up instead of down, even though you are losing inches. 

4.  When the scale goes UP despite eating right and staying on plan,  it may lead to frustration, and for some, make it easier to give into temptation.  At the same time, when the scale goes DOWN despite giving into temptation it may make it easier to go off plan, knowing last time you still come away with a loss. 

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 17

What a STRESSFUL Week!!  Between an Emergency trip to the hospital with my husband,  Him off work all week, Lay Off's at my work, and a meeting to discuss this "critical period" at work,  I have been one stressed out Momma!  The scale shows it too....... I GAINED 1.4lbs.   Gotta get busy and hit the gym this week to work it off!  Weigh In results: 248.6 pounds. 

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 16

This was a pretty bad week, weight loss wise, but I still came away with a loss. All week the scale has not budged, and then finally this morning it was down 1.2 pounds.  T.O.M showed up yesterday, so that may be why it is so low this week. 

NON SCALE VICTORY!!

Yesterday I finally bought a new pair of jeans since having the surgery in October! I've been wearing the same jeans I had before surgery, but they look really bad now, way too baggy.  They aren't falling off yet, but the legs and rear end just sag.  I bought a size 20 Jeans! And they fit great! At my highest weight I was in a size 28 and they were tight....  I have to admit, the thrill of fitting into a size 20 yesterday was greatly dimmed looking at myself in that full length mirror.  Seeing my clothes sag on me felt great, it showed progress!  But seeing myself in a pair of jeans that fit, really showed me how far I still have to go.... not just to goal but to just looking decent in a pair of jeans.  And I've got a belly roll above my jeans line that is still there, that really bothers me.  I put on my saggy jeans again after trying on the 20's and noticed that in those jeans too, the roll is there, I just chose to ignore it.   I was a little down last night...... but I'm feeling much more optimistic today.   I'm not going to get there over night.  And while..... 51 pounds is a lot to lose, when I have THIS Much excess weight, it's not going to have as great an impact on me as it would on someone with less to lose. My husband suggested taking pictures each month so I can compare, which I really should have been doing all along. 

NON SCALE VICTORY!!

Last night when I was getting dressed to go to the gym, I grabbed one of my old XL T-Shirts to try it on, just to see how close I am to being able to wear it again. Guess What!?  IT FIT!!!!
YES!!!  I was so excited!  Later, on the treadmill, when I started feeling self conscious in front of all the people there working out looking all cute in their workout gear, I reminded myself that I was wearing an XL T-Shirt!! And that is coming from a 3X!!  I may not look all cute in my work out clothes now, or even FIT into the cute workout clothes yet, but I'M ON MY WAY!!

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 14

 

This was not a great weight loss week. My weight this morning was 252.0 lbs.  I GAINED .4lbs.  I didn't work out at all this week.  I haven't been feeling well, and never made it to the gym.  I'm going to have to do better.  Earlier this week each morning the scale was up a little until I had gained 3 pounds for the week, but beginning Thursday the scale started going back down, ending the week at only a .4 lb gain. While I'm disappointed to have not had a loss this week, I'm relieved that it wasn't a 3 pound gain or more like it was showing earlier this week.  Going forward, I can NOT let myself derail my work out efforts.  It's too easy to find a reason or excuse not to go.  I need to be going to the gym regardless of how I feel unless I'm running fever or puking.

Confession Time... Water

I have to admit....  I think my BIGGEST challenge

is getting enough water in.  This has always been an issue with me, not just since surgery.  First of all..... I don't LIKE

water.  In order to drink it, it has to be ICE COLD. Even then

I have to force it down.  Bleh.  I used to love the Crystal Light packets of Lemonade added, but since the surgery, I haven't really cared for them.  Any calorie free, non carbonated beverage will count towards my water intake, so I've been drinking the Diet Lipton Citrus Green Teas.  In the weeks following my surgery, it was the ONLY drink I found that didn't make me nauseous.  I can now drink other things, 

such as water without feeling nausea, but I still haven't found anything that I love to drink. But taste isn't really the problem here.  I just get busy and forget  to drink.  One 16oz bottle of tea will last me all day.  On a good day, I'll get in two 

of them.  THAT'S HORRIBLE! I should be getting in at least 64oz of water daily. Water is very important to not only my weight loss, but my health as well.  It is such a SIMPLE concept too.  Carry water (or other noncaloric beverage) with you all day long, and sip constantly.  Yet, here I am 3 months out still struggling with it.  I'd set an alarm on my phone as the Dr. suggested, but I can't have my alarm going off at work.  I've even asked a co-worker to remind me throughout the day to drink.  But ulimately, it is my responsibility, and I just have to find a way to get it in. 

Where The &^%$ Is My Hair Going!?

I knew this was coming. 

I knew to expect some hair loss

after having this surgery starting at

around Month 3.  

Well, here I am 3 months out, 

and Yep. I'm losing my hair.

Knowing it was coming did

not make it any easier when it arrived.

For most people, it is just a little thinning out,

and will soon grow back out, thinning hair but a memory.

But I've been experiencing thinning hair for the

past 11 years.  It started after my youngest (4th child)

was born.  It was a very slow gradual process,

and it seemed to have stopped.  My hair was still

really thin on top, but it seemed to be staying.

So for me to be experiencing hair loss again,

I have to admit... I'm scared.

Morning Naked Weigh In: Week 13th

Kind of a low number this week, BUT still a loss, so I'm happy.
251.6
Loss for the week: 2.8 lbs

Total Loss so far: 48.4 lbs!

New Gym Found

Yesterday I joined a new gym.

This one is Local, Open 24 hours,

and is CHEAPER than what I'm paying

now for the gym through Work, which

has limited hours, and that I've been 

having trouble getting to. 

I joined the new gym yesterday, 

and will cancel my other gym membership 

tomorrow.

NO MORE EXCUSES!!

THIS WILL BE THE YEAR 

I FINALLY ACHIEVE MY 

GOALS OF WEIGHT LOSS

AND FITNESS!!

Feeling Super Positive today!

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 10

This was a disappointing week.

Monday after my official Weigh In

the scale was up to 262.0.  Tuesday

it was back down to 261.0,

Wednesday it was 261.2, Thursday 261.2, 

Friday it jumped to 262.4, remained there 

Saturday, and this morning it was 261.4. 

So I walk away this week with a .2lb gain.

UGH.

I thought for sure I would see better results

this week.  I took healthy protein rich lunches, 

I didn't snack in between meals, and I did 

better about getting my water intake in. 

Still not enough, but better than I had been doing.  

AND I got in a short workout on Thursday, 

and my husband and I walked our butts

off yesterday... I was even sore this morning from

it.  I know this is to be expected sometimes, but

it is still a little frustrating.

I Finally Made It To The Gym!!

I finally made it to the gym today

and worked out.

 I only lasted about 25 minutes, but I 

worked up a pretty good sweat. 

15 minutes on the Treadmill, then

10 minutes on the bike.  While on the 

bike I used a feature called Chest Press

where every few minutes, it has you 

you raise your feet onto these posts

and then use the arm handles to pull your 

arms back and forth while it applies pressure 

making it hard to pull.

 

I need to work up to to the point where I am

working out at least an hour, and I need to be

sure and utilize the weights they have there.

I can only hit the gym about 3 times a week,

so I think on those days I will start using the 

weights they have there, and on the days

I am not able to go to the gym, I will go

to the school track walk/run. 

Looking forward to getting FIT! 

Morning Naked Weigh In - Week 9 Results

This morning I was down 2.2lbs for the week.

Not a big loss this week, but still a LOSS. Yay!

Weigh In results this week: 261.2

Total loss so far: 38.8 lbs.

Friday, I dropped a check off at the gym

to start back up my membership, 

so next week I start working out.

Hoping to see better results from here on out.

Week 8 Weigh In Results

I didn't think I was going to lose anything

this week.  In fact, I was afraid I was 

going to end with a GAIN.

TOM (Time Of Month) came to visit this week,

and brought a long a couple of pounds. 

Yesterday I was looking at a .4 increase,

BUT........

I'm happy to say that this morning's 

Weigh In showed a 2.6 pound

LOSS!!!

WOOHOO!!!  

Total Loss this month: 8.8 lbs

Total Loss so far:  36.6 lbs

I was hoping to lose about 10 pounds month.

Maybe when I start working out this January

I will see better results. 

But a loss is a loss, and even if it is slower than

some..... I'll TAKE IT!!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Today is Christmas Eve and I had
 to work today. Blah. It wasn't quite so bad,
since we were able to leave at 2:00. 

I'm about to start making some
Peppermint Popcorn Bark

to pass out to family as Christmas Gifts
 at our family Christmas tomorrow. 

I thought Valentines and Halloween
were the "SWEET" Months....

The first of December, we all brought
 in stockings and hung outside our offices
or in our cubicles and throughout the month,
 everyone has brought in goodies to stuff our 

stockings with.  I left today with a stocking
 full of candy, which I will pass on to my
children's stockings tonight. And then today,
a co-worker brought in fudge for
everyone, another brought Peppermint Bark
and our Director brought in her famous Bark.
I ate just a little bit of the Director's Bark
to see what all the hub hub was about,
(and it was good!)

I tried eating just a tiny piece of fudge 

since I haven't eaten fudge in over 15 years

and used to LOVE the stuff, but it was WAY too sweet. 

At the end of the day, one of my co-workers
told me that she was reallystarting to see a
difference in me.  She said that every week

she notices a change and said she just
wanted to let me know she was proud of me. 
She said she sees the healthy choices
I am makingand the sacrifices and wanted
to let me know she was proud.

It made me feel good.