Day 5 is here, and I have survived the week ON PLAN! Woohoo!!
Weekend is coming up and I know that will present a challenge. The kids will be home, my husband will be home, and instead of bearing through seeing them eating 1 meal a day I can't have I will see them eating 3 meals a day plus snacks.....all of which I can't have. Now one of those meals, I could serve them the same Lean and Green Meal I am eating, and maybe give them more options such as potatoes or something.... Wonder if my husband will be on board with that? LOL
I woke again today extremely thirsty, but no more stomach cramps or bouts of diarrhea. (TMI) But I still feel tired. Not so much the sleepiness I had before, just my body feels tired. BUT I am supposed to be taking vitamins, and I haven't been. I thought I had some, but turned out I didn't. So I need to get some this weekend and start taking them. Mom said she took some of the gummy Prenatal Vitamins and a Fish Oil pill. The Fish Oil pill is a requirement with this program. The other vitamins are not required, but should help me.
I'm going to weigh in on Monday..... I'm excited and very nervous. What will I do if I have not lost anything?............ Well, that is a rhetorical question. I will keep with the program and know that eventually it WILL start coming off. I'm really hoping for a nice weight loss though. I honestly don't see how I could NOT have lost weight.
This week is proving to me, that when I put my mind to something....... my willpower IS strong enough. I hope that I can keep remaining strong. I try to visualize myself at least once a day thinner. Really fantasize about what that is going to be like..... try very hard to picture myself in a thinner body, and BELIEVE that it is coming. It helps motivate me and keeps me inspired.
Gregory and I used to have lunch somewhere together once a week, and I am really missing that right now. (The food, that is.....) But this is my addictions talking. I keep reminding myself that it is better to be healthy, than succumb to instant gratification, which really is what going off plan is. Those meals are still there.....in my future. When I have learned more self control, when I have detoxified my body, and am healthy once again.
It is not JUST about being thin. It isn't JUST about fitting into a smaller size, or not having to go to a PLUS size store to find clothes that fit. It isn't JUST about sitting comfortably in any chair anywhere.
It is about living. Being alive to watch my children grow. Being around when my Grandchildren are coming over for visits. Being able to ride Bicycles with the kids, go ice skating with them, participate in sports with them. It's about being able to dress sexy for husband. It's about being able to kneel, squat, lie down, and get up quickly, comfortably, so that I can get the shots I want with my camera at Events. It's about not living in fear that my Heart is going to give out, afraid of strokes, heart attacks, or other Obese complications.
It's about not worrying every time I feel a twinge in my chest if my heart condition has returned. It's about not having to ride in the wheelchair carts at Walmart when I'm older and my knees have finally given out because of all the extra weight I'm carrying around, because if I don't do something about this now..... that is what I will probably have to look forward to in the future.
And the list goes on..... The satisfaction I will receive for going off plan will be temporary, fleeting, followed by a strong sense of guilt and shame. But the satisfaction I will receive for sticking with the plan will be long reaching, and will impact the rest of my life.
Through Surgery, Struggles, Triumphs, Melt Downs and Achievements, this is my Journey of weight loss and self discovery to a healthier body, mind, and soul.... and finding my own happy ending.
I am so proud of you! You have done remarkable this week - I can't wait to see how much you've lost!
ReplyDeleteDinner - yes, you should serve everyone the SAME THING. They would ALL benefit from eating better, I'm sure. If they don't like it, you can always point them in the direction of the sandwich stuff.
As for the weekend - I would have them make their own breakfast and lunches on the weekends. We always have just cereal and sandwiches and stuff like that anyway.
The adjustment period may take some time, but they love you and want you around for a long time. You have to do what you need to in order to stay on track. And if their food is too much of temptation, then they need to be the ones to handle it themselves. I would also take some time this weekend to talk to all of them together and tell them how your week's gone and what your struggles are. They are there to support you!
You're doing great!
Thanks Jennifer! You give good advice.
ReplyDeleteSomething I have struggled with is what to say with the kids. I don't want weight or food to be a big issue for them. So far none of my kids have had any weight problems, and I've always tried to avoid anything that might cause issues later on. I'm very careful about not rewarding with food. (My mother-in-law does this though.... when they were little or even now, if they are upset she tells them they need chocolate... grrrrr). For a little bit my youngest son started to put on just a little bit of weight, but we didn't make a big deal about it. We just quit buying the snacks he used to eat a lot, and we eliminated Chili Dogs (his favorite) and stuff like french fries, chips, etc. from the house. We just stated that we were all going to start eating healthier. I guess I'm so afraid of passing on my food issues to them....
As a teenager, I didn't eat. I flirted with Bulimia, though never did purge. I would just eat as little as possible, claim to be "stuffed" and go throw up, like some of the others did. And after having the kids, I lost control of my willpower and ate and ate and ate.
Obviously the kids know I'm fat. But they have never asked why. I don't want them to have negative feelings about food, so I just stress "health". Now when they see me eating my bars and drinking my shakes, and asking what it is (they thought it was ice-cream or granola bars) I explained (for the first time ever) that I was on a diet. When they asked me why, I didn't say "to lose weight", I told them because I needed to get healthy, and a part of me getting healthy was to be at a healthy weight.
I know that temptations are going to be around me all the time. Right now, it being early on, I am trying to just avoid them, but I know eventually I will have to face them head on. We are always going to have Birthdays, Parties, and Holidays, and I HAVE to learn self control. Addictions are hard to break, and I'm hoping in time my will power will be strong enough to cope with all temptations.....I can't run from them forever...
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement,and for reading about and sharing in my journey. I never realized how important a good support system is until now. THANK YOU!!